1. |
Void
01:35
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fireworks fill the void like a contrived celebration / of the fact that we didn’t die today westbound on Foster / lucky I swerved in the right direction / but fuck, if my luck meant someone else’s conviction / I used to find solace in the unexplainable chaos / but it’s far too calculated for that now //
April thirteenth, your mom died on Emma’s birthday / and then on mine, you were struck / you were struck / you were struck by a truck and lay comatose / Em always said when you leave we’d find our own place / she sure didn’t mean that way / but Erin, if you die I can’t imagine we’d stay / now Em hangs half-mast by the fan / I keep myself busy making all of the hummus I can / and stare at the tea kettle / and cry my eyes out
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2. |
ICU
02:21
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this summer had gotten mad busy and by that I mean / no busier than before but / I loved those fleeting moments with ya // still signs of you were everywhere / your spaghetti squash, golden hair / like how we never missed a garbage day / your happy cat once a stray //
now I see you, I see you, I see you / now I see you, I see you / you don’t see anything //
you don’t see our bones turn to stone / or the waiting room doom and gloom / you don’t see Jon, he doesn’t sleep / he just sits by you, sometimes weeps //
now I see you, I see you, I see you / now I see you, I see you / you don’t see anything at all //
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3. |
Summer of No Regrets
01:30
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just because someone's technically alive doesn't mean the sun will rise / you lost your mind now your body waits around to the harsh hum of hospital sounds / I was prepared by statistics they arranged that all from here on out would be strange / but when they pulled you out of purgatory it was a different story //
because I never thought a vegetable would look at me like that //
so when the time came for more bad news we stood pragmatically aloof / only a fool would have argued against death here in the summer of no regrets //
but still I never thought a vegetable would look at me like that
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4. |
Survived By
03:44
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I'm lying on the windowsill with your things in a heap / drifting in and out of sleep / syncing with your breathing, it's tense / you're right next to me drifting in and out of existence / the air is stale / it's been a while since your last inhale / I jolt awake and pray for a fighting breath / until I remind myself we're all waiting for death //
the nurse comes in and logs the time / we hug you and hug each other and cry for what feels like a lifetime / it doesn't get any realer than holding your still hand / but in the morning I can't seem to understand //
see you're not here and my friend died / but the two are not connected / neurons do not abide / but Erin, I will do what I can do for you / Erin, I will do what I can do / to make you survive / we will make you survive //
even though I know you're not alive / we will make you survive
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5. |
Epilogue
02:48
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